INTERVIEW | JANUARY 7, 2012 11:59 AM
Mrs. Ganiyat Fawehinmi, the first wife of the late legal icon, Gani Fawehinmi, talks about the foremost human rights activist and her life in an encounter with ADEOLA BALOGUN and ’NONYE BEN-NWANKWO.
Ganiyat Fawehinmi, wife of late legal icon Gani Fawehinmi
How do you spend a typical day?
Normally, I wake up early in the morning, say my prayers and I go to early morning mass; we call it Holy Communion in the Anglican Mission. When I come back, I prepare food for my children, Mohammed and his other siblings. I just sit down and relax.
So, you are a Christian?
Yes, I’m a Christian. I had been a Christian even before my husband passed on. He encouraged us to go to church. When my daughter, Basirat, who is also a lawyer, got married, he personally handed her over to the Bishop at Archbishop Vining Memorial Church Cathedral (Ikeja GRA, Lagos). Even my second daughter, who is a medical doctor, she (too) married in the church. My husband never discouraged us not to go to church. I got confirmed at Archbishop Vining with my two daughters, Dr. Idiat, who got married last month (November 2011) and her sister, who is now in Sweden, Mrs. Simbiat Oso. We got confirmed (the) same day in year 2000. He gave us money to donate and gave us drivers to take us to church. My husband was not a fanatical Muslim; he always supported us and whenever they had anything to do in the mosque, I followed him. There was never any rift about religion between the two of us with any of my children. Ironically, all my daughters preferred to be Christians; the boys too, some of them go to church. Saheed got married in the church last year (2010) and since then, he has been attending church with us.
How was growing up like?
My growing up was not so fascinating; it was not rosy because I’m from a humble background. My father was a church catechist; then he resigned to become a headmaster of a school. My late mum too was a headmistress in Abeokuta but by that time, I was not born. I learnt that my father left the clergy and joined the railways, where he rose to the post of senior station master before he retired. We were a family of six: three boys, three girls, though most of them are late now. I have two brothers left. My younger sister, who was a banker, was attacked by armed robbers while coming back from work and unfortunately before they took her to the hospital, she had passed on at the age of 43.
Which schools did you attend?
I attended (the) Methodist Primary School, Herbert Macaulay (Lagos), where Hoares Memorial Church is located. From there, I went to Benevolent High School, a private school at Nathan Street, which was adjacent to the army barracks. So, in those days during army mutiny, soldiers always shot at random and some of my classmates were hit and because of this, the school had to move but I had already left then. It was merged with Eko Boys High School. I was so fortunate to be on scholarship from year two until I passed out because of my performance at the end of the first year. I was in the fourth year when I met my husband through one of his friends, who was my senior sister’s husband. He came to visit my sister and he saw me and told me that he would like to have me as his wife. At that time, I did not understand what a relationship was like. My late sister’s husband said I was still young, but he said he would not disturb me, that he would encourage me and after my education, he would marry me. He waited for me to finish school. Each time I was doing exams, he would buy me provisions and he would come around whenever he was free from the court and take me through my notes. He was the one that introduced me to buying past question papers as a form of preparation for exams.
When was that?
This was 1966 and the courtship lasted for two years and we got married in 1968. When we met, I can say he was the one that introduced me to what courtship was. The normal training my mother gave us was you finished your school first before thinking of marriage. So that was what I focused my mind on initially, but when he came and asked for my hand in marriage, my dad was very angry. He said I was too young; then I was about 16 years and he told him not to disturb me. But he assured him that he would not disturb me about my studies and he kept his words until we got married in 1968.
Which means that after secondary school, you didn’t go further?
No, I didn’t go further.
But you speak so well.
In those days, education was real because right from form one, they encouraged us to read novels. I don’t know how many school children read novels now. I think it is technology that has made children of today not to read. In those days, it was a competition, especially in private schools; the number of novels you read and you could not tell lies and then debating in those days, we took it as a matter of life and death. When we were debating in those days, people came to watch us and schools were usually paired together, girls’ schools against boys’ schools, mixed schools with boys/girls schools and in those days, we were always very proud to go for debating. You would have your uniform well ironed and dressed very smartly and very presentable, but we didn’t use cosmetics, no weave on; everything was natural because everything counted; not only your speech and whenever any school won, it was like you had gone to Jerusalem and come back. The entire school would be in jubilant mood and present gifts to the representatives. In those days, I belonged to the literary and debating society and one had to read as very many novels as possible to know how to present your points and how to win the audience.
If you were that brilliant in secondary school, I expected you would have had plans to go further. Was it an agreement between you and your husband not to go further?
I won’t say it was an agreement. In fact, my dad was very angry that I didn’t further my studies because he saw me as a role model in the family. Then, in the entire family, I was the best academically. I wanted to go to the university; I obtained the JAMB form with my mates and all my mates were convinced that I was going to get an admission. After filling the form, my husband said I should give him to submit for me. He said that no matter what, he would see to it that I got admission, even if none of my mates made it. Then, his friend, Prof. Olawoye, was in the university; he is still alive. In my presence, he was telling him that his wife would like to come to the University of Lagos, but I didn’t know they were tricking me. So, when I went for the examination and the results came out, my mates were sure that I would be one of the successful candidates. My name then was Gladys and everybody was looking for it, but my husband was always assuring me that it would come out. He said there was a second list and even a third list and I innocently believed him because I didn’t know he was playing on my intelligence. When my other mates got admission and were doing orientation, I was worried and I told him, he said mine was a special case, that because I was very brilliant, my name would come with the one they called special list. Yet, I believed him even though my friends were coming to me telling me to do something, but I told them that Gani had assured me. When they resumed and started registration, he said that was no big deal, that he would do it for me in days. So, when they started class, I told him that they had started class and he said, ‘Oh, do you still want to go to the university?’ I said, ‘Why are you joking with my life?’ He said, ‘Don’t worry, even if you are educated, comfort is what you need and I will give you every comfort.’ I was alarmed and reminded him that my father would be very upset, but he said I should not worry, that he would speak to him. My dad too was worried and was asking me what could be delaying my admission. I then told Gani to go and see my father and he came to see him. He told my father, ‘Baba, if I allow your daughter to go to the university, I may not be able to get married to her.’ My father was very angry and said, ‘Is it because of marriage that you want to disturb her life?’ My father said my not going to the university would be an upset in the family because I was the one everyone was looking up to, but Gani said even if your daughter went to the university, I would want her to be a housewife; I don’t want her to work. My father was angrier and called my mother to talk to him, but the old woman said if that was what God wanted, he should allow us to get married. Then I was 18 and my father asked her what an 18 year old knew about marriage. Gani said I was mature the way he saw me than my age and they should just give their blessings. Initially, my father objected but my mum spoke to him and we got married on May 24, 1968.
How was the experience getting married as a young woman?
Initially, I found it very difficult because I didn’t know marriage meant leaving my environment entirely and staying with my husband for life. I thought I could just go to my father’s house and play with my family the way I had been doing and staying with my parents if I wished to. That one was very difficult to cope with. But my husband understood from the outset that I was still young and anytime I said I was going home, he would say, ‘This is your house,’ and I would say, ‘No, my house is where my parents live.’ Then, he would just laugh and say, ‘In future, if you say this is not your house, I would fight you.’ He would take me there with a lot of presents and would stay a bit with them before coming back. Then, we were living in Kadiri Street along Ikorodu Road. One day, my mummy called me and lectured me that my husband’s home is my house, that I had forfeited everything in my father’s house when I got married. It took a long time for me to understand what it meant that my husband’s home is my home.
As time went by and your husband became more critical of government, were you comfortable?
Initially, I wasn’t comfortable because each time he criticised the government, they would detain him and I would have to stay alone in the house with the housemaid and my in-laws. Having him away for some time was not funny because when chief was around, you couldn’t be sad. He would crack jokes with you and make you laugh. So, I was missing that joke, but as times went on, he explained to me that I should try and think about other people; that I should not think about myself alone and I should put myself in the position of others. So, each time they detained him, I just managed to cope, it wasn’t easy especially when he still continued to tell me not to work because I have never worked for a day. I have always been a housewife, although I don’t regret being a housewife because all my children are well off now. If I were to be working, I don’t think that could be possible.
How was it like being a housewife of a prominent person like Gani in terms of taking care of his home?
It could be very hectic in the house. I was always busy, even as at now because in those days, before he went to court, I prepared his breakfast. I would take the children to school because he insisted I did that, that he didn’t trust any driver with his children. If the driver wanted to take them, I had to be in the car; that kept me busy. Relations were always around and there were so many of them he trained and others he was not related to. It was very tough and hectic keeping his home.
All the time they were coming to arrest him, were you always by his side or did you try to interfere?
Most of the time, I was always at home whenever they came for him, but I would insist that he be allowed to take his bath because at times, they would come at odd hours. I would insist he took his bath, his breakfast and his medication because at a time, I had to cry out that he had hypertension. Before, I was keeping it to myself until I could no longer help it, that if he died, I would hold the government responsible. He became hypertensive since 1975 and he had been going to England to manage it. Initially, he was angry with me for crying out, but when he saw the circumstances, he agreed with me that I had done the right thing.
Because of the frequent arrests and detention, were you at any point regretful marrying Gani?
I can’t say that because each time they detained him, he came back more popular and earned more respect. Initially, I thought such worked against him, but I realised that he gained more popularity and known as a human rights lawyer.
We learnt that Gani and his mother were very close, is that correct and to what extent?
That is very correct. I would say they were about 95 per cent closer and the remaining five per cent was for me.
We even learnt that sometimes, they shared same room, did that get into your relationship and were you jealous?
Initially, I was jealous but as time went on, I understood why; being the only son and his father died when he was in England and Mama of blessed memory had to borrow money to sponsor him over there. All those things he didn’t tell me when we met, but when he later revealed them to me, I understood why they were very close. Mama would go to any extent to protect my husband, even at the expense of her own life. There was a time when Gani was detained and I told Mama that I better followed her to Ondo, but Mama said, ‘Lailai (never), all of us would stay here until they released him.’ I said all these people coming with guns, what if they shoot? She said she preferred to die rather than my husband. It was then that I knew what real love meant between mother and child and at that stage, I respected her more than before because I couldn’t say I wanted to die because of him, but Mama was really prepared to die for him to live. She did everything humanly possible to achieve that; she was a mother in a billion, even trillion. It got to a stage that other chief’s siblings voiced out that Gani had become the only child of their mother. They even said it to her hearing, but Mama would pretend not to hear them. Even to me too, they said, ‘Your husband is Mama’s only child oh, we’re not.’
Did she accept you whole heartedly as daughter-in-law?
She did. Initially, the Ondo people didn’t like that he didn’t marry from there, but the way they saw how I was relating with Mama, they had to accept me reluctantly. But today, I’m their favourite wife.
The first time he took you home, how did she react?
Ah, Mama was very happy that at last, he had a wife because at that time, all his mates had started having children, but he was saying he wasn’t ready yet. His grandmother was even alive then and when he took me to see her, the old woman said I should come and sit on her laps and I found it difficult because of her frail looks. She said I should not hesitate, that even if she died that day, she was satisfied that at last, she had seen Gani’s wife. She said they should prepare food and asun (goat meat) for me and she said I should be coming to see her from time to time, that she would come to Lagos when we were getting married. That time, she was over 90 years old and I said she was too old to travel but she said she would come.
With the wonderful story of your relationship with your husband, did it ever occur to you that he would bring home a second wife?
No, and he personally told me that he was not going to marry a second wife because of what he went through coming from a polygamous home. He said he had seen what polygamy was and that it was by a stroke of luck that he didn’t die as a baby. He said at a time, they tried to poison him though he didn’t tell me the details. That’s why he didn’t eat outside and he hardly socialised. If you saw him at a party, it must be either his best friends, Dr. Mike Fadayomi, Prof. Olawoye, Mr. Gbenga Akinnawo, were doing something. Even his relations complained that he wasn’t eating in their house and at a time, they accused me that I was telling him not to eat at their places, but it was his own policy, even before he met me. He said he had gone through a lot, that people could be very wicked; he said he would have died before the age of 10, but he did not tell me what really happened and who did what.
Why then did he marry the second wife?
Well, I don’t know, only God knows and himself. But what I saw was that it was as a result of pressure.
From where?
I don’t know because at one stage, people were saying what was wrong with an Ondo lady, that he had to go all the way to Ijebu to get married. They did not face me, but I overheard people saying it and at a stage, he said he had his choice and nobody could give him a wife, even when his mother was saying she was going to bring somebody from Ondo, ever before he met me. He said no, when he saw his wife, he would know and he said immediately he set his eyes on me, his spirit told him that was your wife.
Then, how did you take it when it eventually happened?
Ha, it was a bit difficult for me because I did not like not going to the university. My aim was to read geology and people were telling me it was not a woman’s course, but that was what I wanted to do. My father wanted me to be a medical doctor and was prepared to spend his life savings to train me. He said in a way, I disappointed him but after sometime, he came to agree with me that it wasn’t my own doing. I thank God that all my children went to the university, even though I didn’t go and I’m able to communicate.
You were going to tell us how you took the coming of the second wife.
Initially, I objected because I told him that if he wanted to have another wife, I couldn’t live under the same roof with another woman because I didn’t know the kind of woman she was. I said I didn’t want any rift and I didn’t want to endanger my children’s lives. Some women can be very wicked, even to their own children. My children are like platinum to me, not even gold and I can go to any extent because of them, short of stealing or prostitution. His relations talked to me, he told them he had made a mistake and I said I had accepted the mistake, but I still stood on my words that I would not live under the same roof with another woman. They asked whether my children could go and spend holiday with the second wife and her own coming to me; I said, ‘No, let every child stay with their mother. If there was any celebration, they could come and celebrate with their father but my children would not go and spend holiday with another person, even with my own mother.’ On that, I disagreed with them, but the children of the junior wife would come here and we would go to Ondo together, but I have never slept under the same roof with her, up till today.
Did you ever accept the other woman as a mate?
Not that I don’t accept her as a mate, but you know some people, when you give them a mile, they take 20 miles. I’m a peaceful person, people know me for that and I don’t want anything that would bring a rift or argument. I don’t want a scenario where my children would do something and she would scold or give them a knock on the head, I don’t like it and I would never do that to her own children. In fact, I have never lifted up my hand on any of her children.
By the time Gani was ill, how were you able to cope?
It was very hectic because initially, I didn’t know the extent of the cancer. When he was diagnosed, I wasn’t there; it was my second daughter, Dr. Afusat who was there. She flew from Ohio (United State) to England because she said she wanted to know everything that happened to her father, but unfortunately they didn’t allow her to stay in the theatre. I was here in Nigeria; she just called me around 2 am and informed me that daddy’s illness was serious, that I should start praying. She was the one that briefed me about the diagnosis and the operation. She said it was God that made the operation successful. I wanted to travel down but she said I should stay back, that he would soon be discharged to come back home, but might have to travel back for further treatment. On the day of arrival, I was very shocked when I received him at the airport as he was very pale and frail. It was a very traumatic experience for all of us because it was dreadful enough to be told that someone was diagnosed of cancer. We had to travel back for chemotherapy, which was very painful; Gani went through a lot undergoing chemotherapy and each time I think about it, I always feel very terrible. Even though the doctor said he would live for six months after the operation in 2007, through prayers, he lived longer until he died.
How did you and chief manage Muhammed’s accident when it happened?
It was like a dream when it happened. I think it hit chief more and I believe it was one of the reasons he said his chambers should be wound up two years after his demise. Initially, when it happened, chief was so devastated. He said now that Muhammed had an accident and was confined to the wheel chair, he said his chambers had no future. At that time, I didn’t know what he meant, but when they read his Will, that was the time I realised what he told me. Then, Muhammed was the deputy head of the chamber and was doing fine, but because of his handicap as a result of the accident, he wrote that the chamber be closed down after two years. But he pleaded with us that the Nigerian Law Publication should not die with him. When people ask me now why he said we should close down the chamber, I always tell them that I don’t know but what he told me immediately the accident happened was that he was sure his chambers had no future. And unfortunately too, my other daughters who are lawyers cannot for ever be Fawehinmi because they have to be married to their husbands.
Did you know that Gani had a third wife before he died and how did you feel?
He did not have a third wife; what he wrote in his Will is ‘the mother of my daughter, Aishat.’ So, you cannot classify her as a wife.
But were you aware of that before he died?
I cannot say I was aware, but I overheard it. Chief did not tell me himself, but in fairness to him, he was always saying he wanted to tell me something, but anytime I asked him what it was, he would say later. He didn’t have that courage to tell me because he knew it would hit me and I think he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, so he cleverly dodged it until he passed on. Although, I heard it from people, he didn’t tell me himself.
And you didn’t confront him?
I didn’t want any confrontation of any sort with him. The type of respect I had for chief was the type of respect I gave my father. Even until he passed on, I never confronted him for anything and he admired me for that. Anything he did, I always accepted it; when he said A, even though I knew it was B, I would say A. Later, I might go to him and say this thing you said it is A, it is B and he would agree with me. I spared him any type of confrontation because I saw chief as someone who had put the problem of Nigeria on himself so much that bothering him with other things would be adding more to his burden. Even at times when he offended me, that’s one thing about him, he would know that he offended me, I would just keep quiet and walk away. He would come to me and say, ‘Ibukun, I know I offended you, forgive me, I’m sorry.’ Initially, he wasn’t able to say sorry, but as time went on, he started imbibing the habit of saying sorry. Then he would say even if I offend you, I’m the head of the house. He would jokingly say, ‘I can’t say sorry, you know I’m a man; so it is you that should kneel down.’ When I heard about the child, I didn’t confront. When he passed on and was laid in state, and when they brought the child, I carried her and said, ‘Aishat, who is this?’ She said, ‘Daddy is sleeping.’ People shook their heads about the innocence of the little girl. If you see Idiat, my daughter that just got married and Aishat, they are just like twins and they are so fond of each other.
Source: The Punch
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